Sunday, January 23, 2011

Ducks + Music

Yesterday I saw this YouTube Video:





But when I clicked play I already had an Arcade Fire Song playing on iTunes.

The whole experience was so much for me that I cried.

I just put together a little something so anyone else can understand what I felt:

The Terror of Hip Hop Dancing

So... this afternoon I was feeling a great deal of "Ennui"- look it up if you are too illiterate to know what that means - I just did.

Ok, I was feeling all ennuiey, and decided to scare myself and go to a dance class at Steps. It was part of my New Year's resolution to attend Dance Classes again, and I have yet to go to one.

I looked at the Sunday Schedule online, and as it was already 1:15 pm, there weren't that many options left.

There was Advanced Beginner Jazz- eek, do I feel like getting my jazz shoes down from above my closet?

There was Advanced Beginner Tap. Hmmmm.

And Beginner Hip Hop. Ding!

I have not been to a dance class in about a year, and haven't been to a dance class where I don't know anyone in about... 5 years because I had dance regimented into my curriculum for my college degree with all my classmates.

So. I was trying to bite the bullet and just get back into it. It will probably always scare the bejeezus out of me but the idea of going to beginner class was a good way to start. I AM a beginner at Hip Hop for all intents and purposes.

However, I did sit at my desk staring blankly at the schedule for another good 4 minutes and my heart began to race.

Why am I doing this to myself? Alone?! I should wait till I can bring a friend. I am so scared of dance.

No one is ever going to be around to go. By the time you convince Sandy to go with you it is going to be 2013. You have to do this for yourself, Caroline. Face the music.

NO!

Look up the class rate.

17$!? thats too much.

GO to the class, Caroline.


Go.

OK.

Then I panicked about clothes. "WHAT DO PEOPLE WHERE TO HIP HOP CLASS AGAIN?"

I own no loose fitting sweat clothes because they make me look FAT(ter than necessary) but that is what hip hoppers wear.

So I put on a tank top and leggings and.... sneakers.

But Lo! Behold! I have debilitating blisters from my new SNOW boots:



And therefore cannot attend class and dance in shoes. I took off my sneakers in pain, defeat, and relief.

But then I was mad at myself because I had finally convinced myself to go. And then actually couldn't (actually! Don't get those Sorel boots, they suck.) I already got dressed AND I had planned on writing about it on this blog later today and showcasing how horrible I was and why Dancers are scary beasts.

But then, I decided if I couldn't go to that 1.5 hour, $17, shoe-wearing Hip Hop class, I could instead do a 20 minute, $0, shoeless Hip Hop video On Demand.

Then I decided to film it.

You can see why the idea of a real Hip Hop class scared me though I did sort of get into it by the end:

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Snow and Dinner Party

Things are going really well.

  • I got up at 9:15 this morning as opposed to 11:30. (But that was mostly due to the painfully loud sound of shoveling outside my window)
  • I made coffee this morning in my new coffee maker as opposed to the much more $$$ Via Packets. But it was so strong that not even cream could save it. I don't know how to make coffee. I am now drinking Via.
  • As of yesterday I plan on eating a lot of yogurt, coffee and wine so I can become like a frenchie.
  • It snowed! (Still don't have snowboots)
  • I can pick up clean laundry this morning (should do it soon...)
Nothing else is really going on.

Mary's Dinner Party the Other Night Was Super







Les Hosts

We ate in a circle on our laps in the living room. Not normal dinner party situation, but it was great. The food was delicious and simple. The wine was good. We met new friends. Had "intellectual" fights over whether gray nail polish was attractive or not, and even discussed Twilight for a few minutes. (ha)

There was also a Football game on that I was able to slightly understand -which was new for me!

AAaannddd- I did not watch the Eagles game on Sunday but- they lost apparently. Instead of seeing the game, I was at IFC seeing an indie film. Oops. So much for immersion in Sports Culture.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Nuggets of Wisdom: Amy Sedaris

This morning I woke up early (early for me AND early for Saturday) to babysit the biting boy and his brother. I thought things might go smoothly because its not bed-time and we could all just play and get along, but right at the end he started destroying things angrily, so I had to give him a time-out. The parents got home just as the time-out was ending.

I was shaking all the way home.

I think I should quit because I am actually afraid of him.


On a Brighter Note

My friend Mary and I want to practice holding dinner parties. This is part of my plan to become an Entertainer. It makes me feel alive to have goals, even if I never reach them.

Tonight Mary is having a dinner party, which might turn into a snack party which is just as well.


I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence


I am reading Amy Sedaris' book "I Like You, Hospitality Under the Influence" to get some tips for tonight.

I am just in the beginning but have already gotten a lot of nuggets. It is not a quick read. It is dense and very specific.

Since I have already made a party log of my party like she suggested- I am going to continue and relay some tips I have underlined from the book thus far:

What not to bring:

"Don't you dare show up with bamboo! You might as will bring a turtle!"

"remember: NO BAMBOO, TURTLES OR SUNFLOWERS"

(I like sunflowers! But I am assuming she is referring to their top-heavy nature and difficulty to wrangle into a vase.)

What to serve to whom:

"If you are entertaining someone with the misfortune of bad skin, stray from serving cranberry muffins or pizza or any other food that might mimic their face.".

Maybe I should keep that in mind when serving myself.

On Menu Variation

"Think twice before you serve a tomato soup with a tomato salad followed by spaghetti marinara, and Bloody Marys for cocktails. That's a lot of acid to drop in one night".

Shopping Misc:

"Notice in local health food stores how unhealthy the people tend to look". Agreed.

"Cashiers will notice patterns like ice cream at midnight three days in a row. The same is true for liquor. Rotate your stores". Stealth.


Why does she hate turtles so much? That was the hook. I must read more to find out why.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Its My Party 2

I wrote this last night but Blogger was messed up:

There are 30 minutes left in my birthday and I want to report.

Should I be out partying? Maybe, but more specifically: No. I am having a party tomorrow anyway. Double Birthday. Boom.

The Bad Part:

I didn't sleep well so I was tired and grumpy, but I got out of bed anyway.

At my first sip of coffee I realized that I felt like poop and that my eyes hurt. I got in bed and told my mom that if she had to leave and I if was asleep - to NOT wake me up. (She had to leave for PA that morning.)

So, I stayed in bed for an hour trying to sleep- but not - while she banged away constructing some posterboard-constuction to hide my wires, sniffling and coughing- and still occasionally talking to me anyway, even though she knew I wanted to sleep, saying:

“you should get allergy screens, but they are white and not see through on the open part of the window”.

Finally, still in bed at 11:45 a.m. and thinking I'd never leave, I prayed to the Birthday Gods:

Birthday Gods, I don't want to be like this. Help me accept things the way they are. I accept these aching eyes, and the sound of my mother clanging as she makes crafts for me with posterboard, and I accept a whole day of tiredness on my birthday if it means I can just get up and on with it.

Then, The Birthday Gods (and maybe the sleep gods, too) came to my rescue and had me hop out of bed filled with pseudo-energy. I downed the cold coffee I had abandoned before, and decided to take this day by the horns.

Just then my mom was leaving- which was good for the both of us, I guess (my poor mother), and as soon as she left I started dancing around to “Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You” and “Bye Bye Baby” (because we saw Jersey Boys the night before),

Then I did half of “Body By Bethenny” On Demand and took a shower. I even blew dried my hair (Blow dried? Blew dry? Conjugation?).

It was time to rock n' roll and go babysit.

The Better Part

Babysitting was good. The 3 year old asked me if we could just eat the cupcakes already- and then slapped her hand over her mouth.

So there were going to be cupcakes!? How nice.

Right before I left babysitting, not only were there cupcakes for me, but a candle to blow out, cards, an itunes gift card and a soap made by the 6 year old. Tra la!

They gave me some cupcakes to go, for me and my friend in a tupperware, when it was clear I wasn't eating the whole thing.

Love them.

The Even Better Part

Met Danielle at Peels on 2nd and Bowery. We had Sparkling Rosé and ordered a Squid:


The grossest thing ever. It exploded with something horrifying looking. We later found out it was ground squid stuffed inside the squid. When you cut it, the other squid stuff just oozed out more- but at this point we still didn't know what it was stuffed with. 

But, hey, it tasted salty and great.

I got some vegetable thing too and we split a banana, chocolate, coconut pie. Whoopee.

Now I am back home. I just watched Chelsea Lately, ate an entire tub of hummus and -


I have always wanted to know what a cupcake could be like if I put on Peanut Butter instead of Icing. So I scraped the icing off of one of the other cupcakes and – its good.

What is my point? Maybe:

Don't be grumpy. But if you are- pray?

Today is going to be even better....

*SAPPY MUSIC PLAYS. MAYBE FRANKIE VALLI.*

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Football Viewing #2

It is half time. I am watching with my Dad, grilling him about the rules, and eating cheddar cheese and gluten free crackers (slim pickings). Fun enough.

As a social experiment, I am committing to following the Eagles through the playoffs. I don't know what I am going to find out about myself. Probably nothing.

In the least, it will be another pointless thing for my brain to focus on while it should be focused on auditioning or cleaning my apartment.

At the most it'll totally transform me into a cool, sports-loving goddess who can sit down and have a non-light beer with all my "guy friends" while wearing jeans and an Anthropologie sweater.

Most likely not.

I understand now how the game works now. The 4 tries to get a down, what a down is, the yellow line, when they punt, how many points for the touchdown and the field goal blah blah. But the smaller details like personal foul -unnecessary roughness and killing the clock and .... a million other things I can't remember, are the things that make the game especially confusing. THERE ARE SO MANY RULES.

It is back on now-

What is hard is actually following the plays. Do I have ADD? It is very SLOW and then things happen super fast and its a wonder everybody watching hasn't zoned out before something happens.

My Dad says it is a choppy game because the main quarterbacks were out. "As NFL games go, this is a boring one". I just yawned.

As far as I can tell- this is taken very seriously. I like tv comedies- and Football is NOT a comedy- unless you think about how rabid the fans are.

For instance: A BRIDE just appeared on the screen in the stands in full Bride Garb- standing in the rain. That's the kind of person I am talking about. She is jumping up and down cheering with her white bouquet flailing around.

If you love Football like a psychopath- You too will get married! And your husband will love you so much because of how psycho you are about sports! And then your huge reward will be a Honeymoon AT the game. LUCKY GIRL!

Are they brainwashed?

Before this, the closest I have ever gotten into Sports is reading about Quidditch Games.

Ooh, some guy just ran 46 yards, that was mildly amusing!

I just told my Dad I might like Baseball better. He told me to look up this comedian:



It's pretty funny.

Another thing I noticed, that I had forgotten about, was the line of the cheerleaders dancing with vacant, smiling expressions. A little annoying. Reminds me that this is a man's game where the coaches are obese, the men tackle each other, and the women dance around shaking their thang to show their support. Egh.

But! I will stick this social experiment on myself even if it destroys me.

There are two minutes left in the game and I am bored now.

This is the most interesting thing that has happened so far:



Oh, man the other team just got in the lead by one point with one minute left in the game.

But apparently this game doesn't affect the playoffs at all- which makes this whole game even lame-er.

They lost. I need to go walk in a circle or something I am antsy.

ho hum