Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sleeping Genius

Why do ideas only come to me when I am seconds away from falling asleep?

Am I some sort of sleeping genius? Some mad, creative, inventive entrepreneur-type who needs to start keeping a pad of paper and pen next to their bed?

I will have insightful thoughts like "what if I moved to the Bronx to save on rent and start a chicken farm?" and "What if I made a dirty martini out of sauerkraut brine instead of olive brine?" and "I need to clean my bathtub tomorrow".

(The answer about the sauerkraut is: The alcohol will kill the good bacteria anyway. Poo)
yes, apparently this is The Bronx

I mean, the thoughts just keep coming. They KEEP COMING. And, believe it or not, when I wake up in the morning, I do not remember them at all. The ones above were not ideas I actually had while falling asleep, because I can't remember any of those. I just made those ones up now.

So, I am going to start keeping a pad by my bed. Sure to be a millionaire in no time.


this is an example of some brilliant night-thoughts- you can't read it? neither can I


i had the genius realization that I am a sleeping genius. And also, I will be writing a post on cab mania soon.


If you buy this Dream Silk Terry Sleep mask below from Kohls, you will not avoid disruptive Sleeping Genius, but you will sleep in better and I might make like $0.02!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Fifty Shades of Bad Writing

I normally love entertainment that everyone and their mom love. (Things like Harry Potter, Titanic, Twilight (only movie #1 though...), Wicked, True Blood, The Hunger Games, Downton Abbey, The Office.... and on and on. )


I am lame. I like girly-teen things. I like things that only people who generally want to avoid their own boring existence like.

My "likes" are not unusual. They are not unique. And all very much to my dismay, because I would love to be unique and forge new paths and start trends and stuff. That would be great. 

But, I just love the Top 40. 

So, in conversation with my friend, who just discovered reading (Yes. She just finished the Hunger Games, her first novel ever), the book Fifty Shades of Grey came up. She told me it is supposed to be the new big thing. The next Hunger Games. The only difference is- it's erotic fiction. Or ,"Mommy porn". 

I thought, "Oh! Well, I like True Blood and Game of Thrones and .... the song "S&M" by Rihanna! I can handle this". 

Also, I had to live up to my 'Top-40s' literary interests. So I bought it on my Kindle.

Well... nobody every told me that it would be written worse than Twilight, which was already kind of difficult to bear. Horrible dialogue and even more horrible inner dialogue and the most bland and unsympathetic characters. It is really horrible.

Really, really horrible. The sex parts are probably the best parts of the book, and still doesn't make the book redeemable.

I am proud to say, that even though I thought I would be lame enough to enjoy this book, I am not going to finish it.

(That's what I said about Twilight, though, and then I still read all 4 of them.)