Wednesday, April 3, 2013

At Least You Can Sleep On The Bus

There are some nice, relaxed people who doze off on long car rides, sleep through their 7 hour red-eyes, take a much-needed nap on the Amtrak, or drift off while laying back and listening to music on the Bolt Bus.

Whatever.

Just look at this blissful, ignorant soul:

via google images. Unnatural lack of wrist-ache here

Oh the simplicity. Anyone can do this: Just sleep! Just put the seat back, rest back your little head, close your little eyes til your mind fills with big puffy clouds, and then drift into peaceful trainsleeping. Or airplanesleeping. Or Bussleeping.

Never mind how your head bangs against the window. Never mind how your neck feels ok for like 4 minutes and then starts to feel horrible just when you think you might be dozing off. Never mind how those puffy neck things still make your head tilt way down to the side.

Never mind your wrist-ache after you have been resting your head on it for 6 minutes. Or how the arm rest or "windowsill" is like, weirdly narrow for your elbow and your arm elbow skin keeps shifting and sliding your arm off, and how am I supposed to keep my arm holding me up once I fall asleep? I have never fallen asleep so I don't really know. Should I be resting my head on the rattling window instead? I am really asking.

Sometimes I try to wedge my scarf in between my head and the rattling window, but the window is awkwardly far from the rest of my body and at a certain point my torso begins to cramp. Also the scarf keeps falling down. Am I doing this right? Also when I do this I don't know where to put my arms. In my lap? Resting on the narrow armrest?

On long tired airplane rides, sometimes I am almost asleep but then the steward walks by with the drinks and I don't want to miss my chance. Sometimes I decide to ignore the drink driveby, but just the thought process is enough to keep the puffy clouds of airplanesleeping at bay. Also my neck feels really weird. This angle was comfortable a few minutes ago.

Sometimes I look longingly to the side at my napping friend, or the blissful sleeping stranger. How do they do it? Do they have drugs? Am I missing something?

Sometimes I put down the tray and rest my head on my folded-arm-pillows and try to fall asleep that way. It has also never worked, but I have come close. I am also very self conscious of this method. Nobody else seems to try this.

One day I want to sleep on the bus. One day I want to put my seat back and I want my head to stay magically floating without falling to the side and crunching my neck. Or I want to figure out how to position my arms while lying my head on a scarf pillow, on a window that is not too far from my seat or body, and hope the bus isn't rattling too much.

Then I'll write and tell you all how I did it.

SERIOUSLY, HOW?

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