Tuesday, May 14, 2013

things that really bum me out.


  • the desert - everything about the desert is horrible. It is too hot, everything is dead, there is no water, there are hard rocks on the ground that probably hurt your butt if you try to sit down, occasional sandstorms, cruel mirages, and thieves. There are lizards, there are snakes, and there are cactuses everywhere. Don't try to tell me cactuses aren't awful because they are... just... obviously horrible.
  • having no time for dinner - now your life is busy and important and depressing
  • texas - or "the idea of ", because there are no seasons, and there is a desert all around and to the west, and lots of people are obsessed with hats and hair, but they hate my gay friends


  • the concept of going into outer space - space is kind of like the desert, but even worse, because there is literally nothing. I can't even fathom how hard it would be to enjoy food, or company, or sleep, or happiness, if I was shot into nothingness in what looks like a very uncomfortable outfit, in a big metal compartment. Where are they even going? And WHY? And do they have wine in space? I bet they don't. Can people hear in space? I am thinking no. There are no seasons, no greenery, no gravity, and who KNOWS what temperature it is, and there are a million ways to die in space. It really, really bums me out.
  • malls - as if I didn't hate shopping enough. Now I am lost inside a huge maze of dressing rooms and the only food for miles is Chick-Fil-A and Taco Bell. No.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Why Don't I Want To Travel?

Everybody wants to travel.

And everyone seems to say: "Be Young! Be Free! Travel!"

TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL.

But what if I don't WANT to travel?

To me, travel is stressful, hurts my feet, and makes me want to take a week-long nap.

...I would, however, like to go on a lovely, free, non-stressful trip to England, Scotland, and back to the West of Ireland. I would like this trip to be able to take as long as it needs (no work waiting for me and lots of flexibility with plane-travel days and jet-lag recovery days). While I am there I would like to enjoy lots of sleeping and only mild/passive sight seeing. Lots of walks. Lots of food. Frequent drinks. And basically, be with fun friends that are a lot chiller than me, and remind me that nothing matters and everything is good. (I would also do this with the "love-of-my-life", but I have no timeframe for when they will come around and when this could happen. I could be 60 by then for all I know. Must plan without them.)

While I was abroad I would like to make friends with the people there, and just like hang and chill and go to their dinner parties and their cool like, underground comedy clubs and stuff. (....Do they have comedy in Europe?).

I would also like to be able to spend unlimited amounts of money on hotels and fresh squeezed orange juice and maybe buy a bicycle and then just donate it back to the country at the end.

I would also go to Italy, maybe Greece, maybe Prague and other pretty Eastern European countries. But only if I had a translator constantly by my side making sure that I can order my food properly. It is not that I refuse to try these languages, it is just that in France I have been ridiculed and/or yelled at by enough French people while trying to speak their language that I have been scared out of language adventures. (Oh, have you heard DIFFERENTLY about the French? Oh, so had I. Believe me.)

So, yea. I am still "young", for now, and now is the time for ultimate exploration. I do believe that. But to me... "travel".... I just... I just don't care.

Sure, I like the mountains. I like seeing pretty things. I would definitely like to take a mini 4 day break upstate in a forest by a lake somewhere chopping wood and drinking maple syrup. Yea! Sure!

But as far as international travel is concerned, I would even rather MOVE to Sweden or Portugal or Turkey before I just went there and spent a week stressing myself out in museums and with maps as a tourist.

WOA........ REALIZATIONTIME: It's not that I don't like the idea of being in distant locales. I just don't like being a TOURIST.

So... that is it, I guess.