Sunday, January 2, 2011

Football Viewing #2

It is half time. I am watching with my Dad, grilling him about the rules, and eating cheddar cheese and gluten free crackers (slim pickings). Fun enough.

As a social experiment, I am committing to following the Eagles through the playoffs. I don't know what I am going to find out about myself. Probably nothing.

In the least, it will be another pointless thing for my brain to focus on while it should be focused on auditioning or cleaning my apartment.

At the most it'll totally transform me into a cool, sports-loving goddess who can sit down and have a non-light beer with all my "guy friends" while wearing jeans and an Anthropologie sweater.

Most likely not.

I understand now how the game works now. The 4 tries to get a down, what a down is, the yellow line, when they punt, how many points for the touchdown and the field goal blah blah. But the smaller details like personal foul -unnecessary roughness and killing the clock and .... a million other things I can't remember, are the things that make the game especially confusing. THERE ARE SO MANY RULES.

It is back on now-

What is hard is actually following the plays. Do I have ADD? It is very SLOW and then things happen super fast and its a wonder everybody watching hasn't zoned out before something happens.

My Dad says it is a choppy game because the main quarterbacks were out. "As NFL games go, this is a boring one". I just yawned.

As far as I can tell- this is taken very seriously. I like tv comedies- and Football is NOT a comedy- unless you think about how rabid the fans are.

For instance: A BRIDE just appeared on the screen in the stands in full Bride Garb- standing in the rain. That's the kind of person I am talking about. She is jumping up and down cheering with her white bouquet flailing around.

If you love Football like a psychopath- You too will get married! And your husband will love you so much because of how psycho you are about sports! And then your huge reward will be a Honeymoon AT the game. LUCKY GIRL!

Are they brainwashed?

Before this, the closest I have ever gotten into Sports is reading about Quidditch Games.

Ooh, some guy just ran 46 yards, that was mildly amusing!

I just told my Dad I might like Baseball better. He told me to look up this comedian:

It's pretty funny.

Another thing I noticed, that I had forgotten about, was the line of the cheerleaders dancing with vacant, smiling expressions. A little annoying. Reminds me that this is a man's game where the coaches are obese, the men tackle each other, and the women dance around shaking their thang to show their support. Egh.

But! I will stick this social experiment on myself even if it destroys me.

There are two minutes left in the game and I am bored now.

This is the most interesting thing that has happened so far:

Oh, man the other team just got in the lead by one point with one minute left in the game.

But apparently this game doesn't affect the playoffs at all- which makes this whole game even lame-er.

They lost. I need to go walk in a circle or something I am antsy.

ho hum