Friday, September 2, 2011

Monkey Boxers

So.... maybe about 7... maybe 8 years ago I bought 3 pairs of brightly colored boxers from men's gap. To sleep in.

I think it was before there were any viable women's boxers- but I could be wrong. I was in a phase of high school where I didn't care for finer things- only questionable menswear.

(This would also have been the year that I wore pig tail buns, and long shirts under short shirts and chucks (before they were really in again). Also, I think cargo pants were in.

But no matter. I actually found two of those boxers recently and have been wearing them again in the hot summer months. One is pretty pink and coral and blue stripes and I left it down at the shore accidentally, so I have been forced to wear the other one, which is bright orange with little monkeys all over them. (I also had a monkey phase).

No matter! Who cares! Its cool! Be Yourself!

Yesterday I took my clothes to get washed. I have no laundry in the building, so I treat myself to the "Chinese Laundry" on the block over (the official establishment's name).

The women in there are nice to me and know which vera bradley bag-filled-with-laundry is mine when I come to get it.

They laugh at me when I bring only 6 lbs of laundry when the minimum is 8 lbs and 8 dollars.

"So Small!", They laugh with at me.

But they are nice. Once, when I was really sick with mono one of them told me I was beautiful and asked if I lived upstairs. I didn't know if the two were connected, and should have been worried if they were, but I was thankful anyway. And I said.... "No. I live... not upstairs".

So it was the first time I had seen the ladies in a little while (btw, the man who sometimes works there, is not as nice) and they smiled at my 7 lb bag of laundry. I filled it with towels and even... rags just to make it not 4 lbs. But I needed to do laundry.

When I went to pick it up yesterday- the one woman seemed very frazzled. She kept saying something that sounded like "udapat" and was trying to pull out the trash bag filled with clothes within a vera bradley bag in order to show me something. It seemed very urgent.

She kept saying "udapat" and finally pointed to.... the folded orange and monkey-covered boxers.

"These your udapat?"


I then blurted something like : "Yes. HA! Oh, yes that WOULD be confusing. Yes. Yes. HAHAHAHhahahahahahahhaa. I just found them in the back of my closet! Weird! Hahaha. They are mine."

Now, first of all, this means that all my fears about those women judging my laundry are TRUE.

Secondly, why? Why would she call it to my attention that I had funny, monkey-covered men's boxers?

What IF, and yes this is unlikely, what if they were my BOYfriend's monkey boxers? Huh? And I just so happened to put them in with my laundry.

Or, what if, even worse, they were mine (which they ARE), why are you making me feel bad!?!??

Now I have, in the past, gotten baby clothes and weird socks (with human faces printed onto them back) in my laundry- so maybe she just wanted to make sure she wasn't giving away someone else's clothes.


STILL, WOMAN. Allow me some monkey-boxer privacy.