Monday, December 5, 2011

Gossip Ain't Cheap and Alcoholic Cucumbers

The problem with having this popular blog linked to my naaammmeee, is that annnyonnne could potentially find it. And if I have written (negatively)(or just teasingly) about anyone at all, (for SPORT of course), they would potentially be able to find it and know what I have done. Even if I changed their name and used all sorts of euphemisms, it would be easy to guess.

So... alas.... I am left to make fun of myself, my mother.... and..... random people like postal workers, etc.

I can also only write about very neutral, acceptable robot-like goings on, like a sort of loveless robot. Which is fine, I guess. Except that this is MY BLOOGGGGG. AND I CAN'T EVEN WRITE IN IT. The only reason I linked it to my name in the first place is because I was sick of signing in and out of google accounts for anonymity.

In case you are excited for a juicy story about how I hate my boss and killed my lover, this confession does not accompany an actual story.

Also, on the flip side, my attempts at writing about happiness, joy, and the beauty-of-the-world always fall short because a) it is not my talent and b) it makes me want to hurl. So, I'll keep happy stuff to my personal diary that does not exist.

That being said, let's go for some cheap thrills! Have Want Need! Because it is Christmastime again! The time for making a list of things you want your parents to get you even though you are technically a grown woman who should be considering "giving back". And don't worry, I am considering it.

What do I HAVE!?

a dose of ye olde holiday cheer

What do I WANT?!

to learn how to make froth-art

What do I NEED?!

to be a cat. 
all sleeping, stretching, and walking around asking for tuna


Unrelatedly: Let me leave you with this quote:

Once you have turned into a pickle you can never be a cucumber again.

I read the quote and loved it. However, when searching for where it originated, I learned it is supposed to mean something like: "Once you are addicted to drugs, you will never be a fresh cucumber again, even if you get sober, sorry". Something like that.