Wednesday, July 11, 2012

French Women Don't Eat in Bed

At a certain point, no matter how many self help books about being chic you read, when you are at a dive bar trying to keep up with your high school friend who is 6'1", and you are being handed your third champagne-in-a-can with a chambord mixer shot on the side, after already having 2 strong gin and whiskey drinks (whyyy?) .... things get ugly.

This is what I am trying to say: At a certain point... you wake up at 6 am with your head in the salad bowl you brought into your bed for potential throwing up. And you wish you had because in that case you would feel much better.

And it is at this point that, for whatever reason, you realize again you are not the kind of girl who throws up the day-after-the-night she wanted to throw up. Oh no, you are hungry. 

And so after wondering what the best plan of action is, and tapping into your ever-wise savoir-faire, you decide to eat granola lying on your side with your eyes closed until your pillow is littered with oats. And once all the big chunks are gone you keep going even though you are essentially just playing with granola dust.

It is essential to eat, because you are starving, and it is the only way you will be able to fall asleep again. 

Also, the ibuprofen you just took mandates that you to eat.

And you have to wonder about those idyllic French Women and their savoir faire... if in the same situation, can you tell me that they wouldn't do the same?

Eh, they probably wouldn't.