Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Posts I Never Wrote: Part 2

(Continued from Part 1)

Title: Tina Fey- Knobby Knees
Intended Contents: I showed my dad a scene from 30 Rock that I thought he would like. And all he said was: "Wow, she has knobby knock-knees. What a shame."            !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Title: Oh My Aching Feet!
Intended Contents: Aching Feet.

Title: Politically Responsible
Intended Contents: No Clue.

Title: Zen Love Guru
Intended Contents: Probs about how I give amazing and insightful love advice to my friends, yet I have no business doing so because my greatest love affair has been with a block of cheese.

Title: I Mis-Counted the Men
Intended Contents: A quote from 30 Rock, here referring to how " I have had a serious drop in readership in the past day since changing my blog name. I guess there were some strangers who used to read my NonQuickOatmeal blog....". Awwwwww. Then I wrote "Non-quick Oatmeal" about 200 times in an attempt to trick Google search.

Title: Goodbye NYC, Until the Dark Months
Intended Contents: Was going to PA to do a show for the Holidays. Decided it was too boring to write.

Title: Normal Gas
Intended Contents: In NJ where you can't pump your own gas, I asked for "Normal Gas" instead of "Regular"- and I felt dumb.

Title: Don't Be A Hero
Intended Contents: No idea. Be a villain? Oh, I just read it. It was about how I called 911 for the first time in my life when I heard a horrible, menacing, blood-curdling screaming fight between a man and a woman on my street. I was a hero that day. I actually thought I published it.... don't know why its a draft? Oh... because I had a facebook chat copied and pasted into it, but the pictures are all little Question Marks now and it looks junky and unprofessional. I guess I decided it doesn't fit the high standards of this blog....

Title: The Droid and I Don't Type Well Together
Intended Contents: It gave personal examples like: "he just happens to be representing my favorite thong EVER" and "You ate a god". Funny stuff. Should have followed through with that one.

To Be Continued.