Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sleeping Pill Dragons

Over the past few years, my sleep quality has gotten worse and worse.

But I shouldn't be so surprised- because at this point my father sleeps about 3 hours a night- and he and I are very similar. We bond over: coffee, wine, and how little sleep we get. (he gets way less than me still, thank god)

A few summers ago during college, I was with my family at the shore. Earlier in the summer my dad had given me one of his prescription sleeping pills "just in case", but I put it in my makeup bag and didn't use it for the whole summer. Because, you know, I like to consider myself very responsible and functional and holistic. Think yourself happy! Think yourself calm. Breathe and alllll willlll beeeeee wellllllllllllll.

But one hot night near the end of August, I had come home from a party, lay in my bed with the fan blowing on my face because my mom doesn't believe in air-conditioning, and had to take off my pajama pants because it was so hot. As I lay there, my mind was stuck on a dumb boy situation. I was replaying some lame conversation in my head over and over... (It was probably something like, "Caroline, pick a card" "ok!" )... 12:45 am.... ("was your card the Ace of clubs?" "wow! how do you do that!?") ....1am.... 1:30 am... ("You are amazing at card tricks!" "thanks").... 1:45 am. That was enough. It was time for the sleeping pill.

I hopped quietly out of bed so I didn't wake up my sister who was sleeping in the same room, found the pill, and took it.

Yesssssssss. Now I will sleeeeppp.

I lay down, and immediately started to feel my mind go black and blurry. But consciously I thought, "WAIT! I just want to think about this conversation for ONE more minute!" And I forced myself to stay awake in order to recall the same dumb conversation.

I purposely resisted the sleeping pill.

And then cartoon origami dragons started swooping in towards me with my eyes closed. Wow! What is this!? I opened my eyes and they were still swooping in at me! This is amazing! They were cartoon- but they were chinese-origami-type cartoons. I have to tell Margaret!

So I got out of bed in just my underwear and started shaking my little 12-year-old sister.

"Margaret! There are dragons EVERYWHERE!"
"There are dragons EVERYWHERE! It is amazing!"
"I need to go tell Shane!"

So I left my room in my underwear, and went downstairs to my brother's room to tell him about the dragons.

When I got to his door, I was searching for the doorknob on the wrong side of the door.

"Shane!!!!! You don't have a doorknob! YOUR DOORKNOB IS MISSING! ARE YOU IN THERE? Why don't you have a DOORKNOB???? This is SO WEIRD!"

He opened his door groggily. "Caroline?"

"Woaa...", the sleeping pill turned on me, "There are like- dragons and demons all around you!"
"There are dragons and demons right here, you don't see them?"
"Oh, weird Shane. Goodnight."

And I went back upstairs, and my mom was waiting for me in my room because my scared little sister went to get her to tell her I was drunk.

"Caroline ARE YOU DRUNK!?" she whisper-yelled.
"No, no I just took a sleeping pill and there are dragons everywhere"

Then she made me chug 3 glasses of water because I put my life in danger by taking a drug after I drank- and also I am a "horrible example for your sister!"

"No mom, I just resisted the pill because I wanted to think about the magic trick and then there were dragons. I didn't really drink".

I explained it better in the morning- and everything was fine- except for Shane- who is convinced to this day that I saw real demons around him.

Also, my friend Annie and I will now dramatically whisper-yell to each other, "ARE YOU DRUNK?!?!?!", which can be funny in any and all situations. Try it.