Tuesday, December 17, 2013

If I Had (a lot of) Money

One of my favorite activities is: tricking myself into believing something that isn't real and then seeing what I do or think. And then judging myself for being insane.

Though, this time when I tricked myself it was really fun. I played the "What Would You Do or Change if you had an unlimited amount of money right now, GO". And this is what I came up with:

  • First, responsibly getting this bullet out of the way, careerwise, I would take a lot of classes, and spend my time auditioning and making things instead of babysitting. Boom. I would also pay to have all those actory things made, like reels etc, which right now I have no immediate intention of doing because it seems impossible- and expensive.
  • (Edited to Add) Charities. Because that is what rich people, who do the right thing, do.

Now that I have that out of the way (Just assume I would do EVERYTHING I needed to do for peoples' reaction to me to be: "You are so functional and responsible!"), here is more.

  • I would get Fresh Direct once a week. And it would be filled with a lot of very expensive items. And I would eat so much and so easily and so often. I would also finally have ingredients to actually cook things, which I am hoping and assuming I would do. (In this delivery order there would be wine. There would be sparkling water bottles. I don't even drink sparkling water. There would be paper towels. There would be all the things that are heavy to carry that I put off buying. There would be potatoes. There would be expensive almond butter. There would be Apple Cider Vinegar, FINALLY.)
  • I would get an externimator because we have mice. (I cannot rely on my superintendant.)
  • I would get a plumber to fix the shower knobs/water temperature regulation. (Same superintendent situation.)
  • And before all that, I would get a cleaning service 2x a month because I freaking can.
  • I would get a car, and I guess it would be the quiet kind that is good for the environment.
  • I would get amtrak tickets or drive always because I CAN.
  • I would get a little suitcase. I need one.
  • I would get a new tv where the speakers didn't rattle when you turn the sound up at all, and where the remote actually syncs with the cable remote so you don't have to double-fist remotes.
  • I would obviously eventually buy an amazing apartment, but that is a lot of work, so not yet. But when I did it would have a dishwasher, it would have a washer/dryer, it would have no mice. I would buy a little indoor tree for it. That would be so cool. I would remember to water it.
  • I would get laser hair removal. Tens of thousands of dollarsworth.
  • I would take cabs every late night.
  • I would pay a 3-piece band to just follow me around and perform with me in bars, and all the time in my apartment.
  • I would go to a specialist about my jaw muscle because my mom just told me that my "face isn't lopsided because of my broken nose, like I previously thought, it is because my jaw alignment and muscles are crooked"- and LO! she is RIGHT.
  • I would hire a crew/team to shoot these little scripty things I wrote, and it would be great. I would also serve them pizza. (Thin-crust.)
  • I would buy a new yoga mat because mine is crumbling apart and dirty.
  • I would buy a lot of plants. And water them.
  • I would buy new christmas lights to string in the bathroom, because ours burnt out.
  • I would probably see a psychiatrist and have them prescribe me beta-blockers.
  • I would buy lots of bras that fit.
  • I would buy another good pillow.
  • I would pay a person to fix the slat on my bed that won't actually stay in because the movers put my bed together wrong a year and a half ago.
  • I would finally take my velvet pants to the dry-cleaner.

There are more things but I will have to write them later because I need to take a shower.