Thursday, December 12, 2013

Thankful Thursdays: Because Having a Theme is a Good Idea

OK, so, I am trying to kill two birds with one stone. First bird: I want to start a THEMED blog post topic that has annoying and cutesy alliteration- because apparently that is what bloggers DO.

The Second Bird: it has come to my attention over my many years of reading self help books, that I should be spending an exorbinant amount of time, whenever I can, listing all of the things I am grateful for - in order to have more good things happen to me. It is sort of like the paradox of selfishness: If you are selfish and want good things to happen to you, you have to acknowledge all of the already good things, and then more good things will happen to you. And I, my friends, am very selfish.

So anyway, my point is this: I am going to start "Thankful Thursdays", and once that name starts to make me want to kill myself, I will change it to "Thankful Saturdays" and save us all from the cutesy alliteration.

Ready? (This is free-associated again, just like my Thanksgiving one, because planning is for suckers.)

(And... I'm just gonna do 10.)

  • I am thankful for toilets. Oooooohhhhh am I thankful to toilets. Because as much as I joke about wanting to use a chamber pot because of my laziness, I know I would regret having one for many reasons. (I threw out my humidifier because it was too hard to clean.) So, thank you indoor plumbing.
  • I am thankful for ovens and/or toaster ovens even though I only use them these days to heat up frozen Amy's dinners. Using toaster ovens allows me to feel superior to people who use microwaves and allows me to ride the line between completely dysfunctional and slightly functional- and to sit comfortably and warmly on my metaphorically and hypocritically high horse. (that sentance was too long, I know)
  • I am thankful for both coffee shops and for personal coffee makers. So, really, I am just thankful for coffee, and that I have the ability to get and drink it either way.
  • I am thankful for winter because it allows me to feel no guilt if I decide to stay inside all day, but IF I do go outside for a walk or an errand or whatever - I feel VERY accomplished like I am braving the elements and perservering through difficult conditions and I become very proud of myself. I also love the cold- so it is a win-win. I also love dramatic and sad music, which also feels appropriate to listen to while walking through the freezing, while feeling both proud of myself for doing something difficult, and dramatic and sad because of the music I am listening to. There are so many win-wins. So, yes, I am thankful for winter.


  • I am thankful that I don't have OCD like my brother and my sister, because I am able to live in filth and not mind too much.
  • I am thankful for my iPhone because I love it and it is so amazing and it is sort of like my small best friend.
  • I am thankful that I don't drink tea because tea is dumb.
  • I am thankful for emergen-C because I THINK it is cheaper than a multivitamin. Maybe not actually.
  • I am thankful for this snowfall because it actually feels like winter. (see above)
  • And finally, I am thankful for christmas lights, because it is INSTANT decor and you don't even need to be good at decorating.

Alrighty then. Let's see how many weeks I keep this up and/or before switching to Thankful Saturdays.


(I stole this from Google. You know how many bloggers do Thankful Thursdays? A LOT.)